Donnie Wahlberg reveals how therapy helped his marriage to McCarthy

Donnie Wahlberg is reflecting on his 11-year marriage to Jenny McCarthy. 

In an exclusive interview with Fox News Digital, the “Boston Blue” star — who is currently starring in the “Blue Bloods” spinoff — detailed how his past romantic mistakes helped shape his relationship with McCarthy. 

“Well, we’ve both been divorced before, so we did a lot of individual therapy and when we got together we decided, let’s do some together, sort of preemptive, because no matter what, every new relationship brings on new challenges and sometimes we don’t even know what activates us, what causes us to react to certain things and brings out vulnerabilities in us,” said Wahlberg. 

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“Boston Blue” star Donnie Wahlberg admits past mistakes shaped his marriage with Jenny McCarthy.  (Bob Kupbens/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

“But intimate new relationships are usually where they surface,” he continued. “Some of us are really good at working in a work environment or with friends. We can give advice, and we can handle things, but sometimes you get into a romantic relationship and suddenly things bother you that don’t bother you in other parts of your life. And it’s because it’s the most vulnerable relationship you’re going to be in, and that’s where those vulnerabilities pop up.”

McCarthy and Wahlberg began dating in July 2013 and tied the knot in August 2014. Wahlberg has two sons from his previous marriage to Kimberly Fey, and McCarthy has one son, Evan, from an earlier marriage to John Asher.

The former Playboy model and Asher got divorced in 2005. At the time, the couple had been married for 6 years and were grappling with their son’s autism diagnosis. 

McCarthy shares a 23-year-old son, Evan, with her ex, John Asher. (Gilbert Flores/Billboard via Getty Images)

In 2008, McCarthy told Oprah Winfrey that the diagnosis took a toll on their marriage. 

“I felt very alone in my marriage,” she said at the time. “He never sat down and said, ‘What did you find out on Google?’ There was never that connection of wanting to know and being there.”

For the second attempt at marriage, Wahlberg said he and McCarthy make it a priority to “put the relationship first.”

“I think both of us [put kids before our marriage] in our first relationships and we’re not going to make that mistake again.”

— Donnie Wahlberg

“That means doing work to protect and fortify the relationship,” he said. “And we put faith in the center of our relationship too, and that is such a foundation for us, and it’s just huge for us. But in any relationship, you have to put the relationship first.”

“It’s hard to always reconcile that, especially when you’re a parent, but they say on an airplane, if something happens, put your mask on first before your children. And I always thought that was the craziest thing. We have to do our kids first. But the theory is, if you don’t put your mask on first, you can’t help your children. It’s easy to put the kids before everything and forget your partner. And it’s understandable.”

“I think both of us did that in our first relationships and we’re not going to make that mistake again,” he added.

Wahlberg said it’s imperative to “put the relationship first.” (Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for iHeartRadio)

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Another piece of advice? Go on dates, said Wahlberg. 

“Dates are fun!” he said. “All the things we do when we first meet, we stop. We eventually stop. We get complacent. We don’t mean it, but you stop asking questions, you stop being curious, you stop putting in the effort, you stop sending flowers, you just stop. We just tend to stop because we start to trust that the relationship’s solid and it’s there. But I think if we keep giving it that fuel and that energy, that love that we started with, then I think it really does keep the fire going.”

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Earlier this year, the New Kids on the Block star detailed the moment he knew McCarthy was “the one.”

During an interview with Fox News Digital, Wahlberg said his wife of over a decade never got jealous of his female fan base, even when he would kiss a different fan at the end of every show.

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“Jenny, when we first started dating, like, one of the reasons I knew she was a great girl for me, among the many reasons, was I told her, I said, ‘Look, I’m in this band. My fans are going to be there. When I walk into a hotel with you, for example, and you know there are 50 screaming fans outside, I can’t just duck by and run into the hotel.'”

The duo tied the knot in 2014.  (Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for iHeartRadio)

“‘I got to stop and take pictures. I got to stop and say thank you. I got to stop and sign autographs.’ And she said, ‘OK.’ And I said, ‘All right, are you going to be good with that?’ She said, ‘Yeah, I’ll take the pictures with you. I’m good,'” Wahlberg said. 

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He continued, “Like, I knew right then. I was like, ‘Oh, she’s the one.’ I knew already, but you know, I did have that talk with her.”

In 2023, McCarthy shared her husband’s sentiments on what makes a relationship work. 

“Respecting each other, communicating with each other, being each other’s friends. Finding date nights and doing the work,” McCarthy told Fox News Digital. 

“You know that saying… your partner is your best teacher. It really is true. Anything that you need to work on will come out in your relationship. And we were both always willing and still willing to do the work when things come up. And it really is, it makes all the difference in the world.”

Throughout their marriage, the two have made a point to support each other on a professional level as well. 

Wahlberg said his latest show, “Boston Blue” — which premiered on Oct. 17 on CBS — presents a “great opportunity to keep faith and family and tradition on TV.”

“It’s fun. It’s a lot of things, but I think first and foremost, it’s a great opportunity to keep the ‘Blue Bloods’ world and the Reagan legacy alive,” said Wahlberg, who portrayed Detective Danny Reagan for 14 seasons. “It’s a great opportunity to keep faith and family and tradition on TV and to feature a law enforcement family.”

“Blue Bloods” aired its final episode in December 2024.  (Craig Blankenhorn/CBS via Getty Images)

“Of course, it’s a new family, a new world, a new city, and Danny’s facing new challenges and being a dad on the police department for the first time in his life,” he continued. “But it creates a lot of opportunities to explore the character in new ways that I’ve never gotten to before.”

The “Blue Bloods” spinoff might even welcome a familiar face to the screen — Tom Selleck. 

“Of course, we have some surprise guests already in the show,” said Wahlberg. “I would give anything to work with Tom again, and I fought like heck to be able to keep working with him on ‘Blue Bloods,’ but it just wasn’t meant to be. So, hopefully, this show is a tremendous opportunity, as I said, for a lot of things, but it’s certainly an opportunity to keep the Reagan legacy alive. And that would mean, of course, any chance I could work with any of the original cast, I would take it.”

“Boston Blue” airs Fridays on CBS and streams the next day on Paramount+.

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