‘I’m a mum of eight, here’s how to beat the back-to-school stress’

Back to school can be a very busy and often stressful time for many families

It’s a big week in many households across Northern Ireland as schools return, meaning a very busy and often stressful time for many families.

None more so than in the Lewis household in Ballynahinch, Co Down, home to mum-of-eight Emma Lewis. Emma, 41, and her husband Jonathan are proud parents to Annabelle, aged 15; 13-year-old Mable; Bobby, aged 11; 9-year-old Essie-May; Jon, aged 8; Hugh-James, aged 5; 3-year-old Wilfie and 11-month-old Dottie.

Emma is a published writer and motivational speaker as well as a busy mum. Her business Eight Little Lewis Kids: Mum like a Boss is inspiring women every day to live their best life while in the throes of motherhood.

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After becoming a mum Emma left a successful career in Human Resources to embrace her role as a stay-at-home mum and shares practical parenting advice on her Instagram page, @eightlittlelewiskids. But Emma also freely admits that she’s not an expert and is “winging it as much as the next person” even after eight kids.

Emma says her summers are a stark contrast to her daily life during term time. She takes all the children off to the family caravan as soon as school finishes in June and stays there until a few days before it all begins again.

So after a glorious two months of bike riding, beach trips, lazy starts, paddle boarding, countless ice cream trips and making more incredible summer memories, it’s back to managing the demands of school schedules, homework and activities.

While this can sometimes feel overwhelming, whether you’re adjusting to new routines or juggling multiple responsibilities. But the good news is that with a little preparation and smart planning, you can thrive during this busy back-to-school season.

Get it done the night before

I think it’s really crucial as a mum in general because it makes life easier and in a house of so many children, it’s absolutely non-negotiable. It depends on what you want life to look like and I don’t want the mornings to be totally stressful and me yelling at the kids and nobody knowing where anything is.

I would much rather do the prep the night before so that the morning feels calm and we’re all going out the door with a good mindset. Structure in our home is just so necessary and the kids are also much more involved in that now too.

When they were all a wee bit younger, I was kind of taking the lead and setting everyone’s uniforms out and making sure everyone’s school bag was packed and the lunches were made. Now I’m trying to give a bit more ownership to the children so that they’re taking more responsibility for their own things the night before, obviously to a varying degree because the younger ones can’t do as much.

Even things like making sure that whenever they get up in the morning, that they know what the rules are – you get up, you make your bed and make sure your room is tidy before you come downstairs because I just think it sets the tone for the rest of the day.

I think it’s good for them as well, even for the older ones who are in high school, I just like the idea of organisation and being prepared. The kids and I both try to get into the frame of mind that if you do things tonight, your future self will thank you for it. The biggest lie you can tell yourself is, ‘I’ll do it in the morning’, because it’s never easier the next morning or you do it at the cost of your sanity.

Don’t fumble your way through the day

Before your head hits the pillow at night, write out the tasks you have for the following day, don’t leave anything to chance. Doing this will clear your mind for tomorrow. It’s so much better to have your day mapped out to maximise productivity. Mum time is our most precious commodity. Be intentional with yours and never waste it.

Meal prep ahead of time

When kids get in from school, or you get in from work there is so much to do. That two-hour slot from 4-6pm can be the worst part of the day and very challenging. The kids are tired and irritable, you’re trying to get dinner and get homework done.

Having to prepare dinner in the midst of the madness can be a massive stressor for mums. All hail the slow cooker. Get the meal cooking as you sleep to save time and your sanity the next day.

You don’t have to join all the clubs

While after school activities are important, I just feel like they rob you of the little time you have with your children. Our boys go to football, one of my girls horse rides, one of them is in Girls’ Brigade and the boys are in Boys’ Brigade but I also like the kids to come home from school and have time to decompress.

I just want to feel like we’re always on the go and I know that’s controversial because I feel like now everybody’s got their kids in tons of activities, which is fine for them, but for me personally, I like kids to have time to be in the house, play with each other.

I just feel like sometimes the back to school stress can be really exacerbated by feeling like you have to have kids and everything because everyone else is doing that constantly on the road here, there and everywhere.

Comparison is the thief of joy

I feel like this is a really good liberating tip for mums that I’ve learned over the years. When you’re going back to school as a mum, do what works for you and your family, and don’t feel like because everyone else is doing something you have to do it too.

It took me years to learn that lesson and now I really don’t look at what other people are doing because I just think everyone’s writing their own story and other people can look really good.

We all know what Instagram makes everything look like, but I think that’s an added pressure that we feel now as mums, that ‘if other people are doing it, oh I better too or my kids are losing out if they’re not doing it’, I just think stay in your own lane and don’t worry about what other people are doing.

Make some time for you

I consider this the most important one for thriving in your mothering journey. Constantly running on empty is so counter-productive. No matter how small the window, factor in at least 15 minutes every evening for you and only you. Hold yourself accountable to it just as you would any other appointment.

Use it to invest in your own wellness. Do some yoga, run a bath and read a few chapters of a book, go for a short walk, or simply be still with no distractions. You’ll be amazed at how beneficial this will be to your general well-being.

Thriving in motherhood is a choice we must make every day. It is waking up with intention. It is never relegating yourself in order to meet the needs of your family. The biggest mistake we can make is to forget about ourselves.

Being a mum is full on. You need energy, you need to feel fit and strong, fuelled to perform at your best. How do you want to feel as a mum? Now make decisions to support that every day.

Don’t set your sights on simply surviving another school year, commit to making this a year of self- investment, self-care, productivity, motivation, goal setting, all the while showing up for your family. Remind yourself of the woman you are and bring her and all her unique attributes to the table to be the mum you were born to be.

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