“The Hospice will remain forever special to our family. It really is a little piece of heaven on earth.”
A mum and her daughter have opened up about how they plan to honour the memory of their beloved parents and grandparents this Christmas.
The Foyle Hospice in Derry has officially launched its Annual Lights of Love Appeal that will see hundreds of beautiful twinkling lights shining bright in memory of loved ones on the Hospice Christmas tree.
Every December, the Hospice invites the community to come together for a special ceremony with a local family to switch on the Christmas tree lights located on the Hospice grounds.
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This year, Co Tyrone mum Grainne Maguire (née Blee) and her daughter Aoibheann will be switching on the lights in memory of their beloved parents and grandparents, James (Seamus) Blee and Marie (née Gilroy).
Grainne explained: “In May 2019, our world changed forever. Mummy suffered a great deal, with pneumonia taking a heavy toll on her lungs and heart. She spent weeks in the hospital and needed oxygen to help her breathe. Then came the heartbreaking news that Daddy, who had always seemed so strong and well, was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and given a poor prognosis.
“After a traumatic year, we received the devastating news that Daddy had no further treatment options and only months to live. A palliative care nurse suggested that he be assessed by a doctor at Foyle Hospice. Up until then I only associated the hospice with end-of-life care. In reality a hospice is a very special place for people with life-limiting conditions.
“After the initial apprehension of his first visit, Daddy genuinely looked forward to his next visits. He was only beginning his hospice journey when he became acutely ill at home and was rushed to the hospital where he sadly died.”
Grainne continued: “Mummy began spending more time in hospital than at home, and one of her consultants suggested she be referred to Foyle Hospice for Day Therapy. This time, the idea of hospice care did not bring the same fear we had felt with Daddy, as we had learned how much comfort and support it could bring. We now understand that hospice care can help people for many months, even years, by providing a holistic approach to improving quality of life.”
Marie began attending Day Therapy at Foyle Hospice once a week as Grainne explained: “She really looked forward to Sammy coming to collect her in the Foyle Hospice bus. Mummy had her hair and nails done, enjoyed reflexology and arts and crafts, and was able to socialise in a safe environment.
“She enjoyed a mystery tour trip which ended up in Donegal with ice cream on a rainy August day! While there, she wasn’t a seriously ill widow — she could simply be herself again. We never imagined Mummy would enjoy these things once more, and when she came home her heart was filled with joy. The Hospice truly gave her a new lease of life.
“Caring for Mummy at home became increasingly difficult as she continued to deteriorate, it was getting to the point that she almost needed 24-hour care. I was torn between caring for my Mummy, who was also my best friend and being a Mummy to Aoibheann. It came as a tremendous relief when staff at the hospice suggested that Mummy come to stay for treatment in hopes that it would improve her quality of life.
“Mummy’s time as an inpatient was the greatest gift we could have been given. We were amazed at the care they gave us as a family not just to Mummy. The staff just knew what we needed before we even knew ourselves. We got to be a family again, not Mummy’s carers. We had moments of tears and they cried with us but there were also moments of laughter and lightheartedness.
“They looked after Mummy with such attention. They ensured she was always comfortable and treated her with true compassion and dignity. We also had access to one of their apartments as we had to travel, meaning we could get some rest but still be close by.
“Michelle and the Healing Hearts team helped Ciaran and I prepare Aoibheann for another huge loss in her life at only seven years old. With the advice and guidance of the hospice staff, Aoibheann made three planned visits to Nanny so that they could spend some last time together.
“On the morning of the day that Mummy died, Dr Harkin, one of the doctors at Foyle Hospice, described the dying process beautifully. When Mummy took a turn later that afternoon, my initial reaction was to run. I was scared. Dr Harkin rubbed my back and told me that it wasn’t time to run, it was the time to be with Mummy and that Mummy had started on her journey to be with Daddy.
“In the end, after years of suffering, Mummy passed away so gently with me holding one of her hands and Michael holding the other. I now consider holding the hand of the person who brought me into the world as she left it an honour.
“Mummy’s leaving this world wasn’t anything to be afraid of, rather it was peaceful and tranquil. Foyle Hospice has created a beautiful environment where there is indescribable peace, tranquility and serenity. The staff are all angels and we will be forever in their debt.
“One of Daddy’s final wishes was that we take extra special care of Mummy when he was gone. With the support of Foyle Hospice, we were able to honour that wish. Both our parents were extremely fortunate to have been cared for by Foyle Hospice – Daddy for a very short time, then Mummy, for a much longer period. The Foyle Hospice will remain forever special to our family. It really is a little piece of heaven on earth.”
If you wish to dedicate a light, you can do so by returning a Lights of Love tag that you have received in the post or sponsor a light on the Christmas Tree on the grounds. Tree tags are available for you to write a personal message which you can post back to Foyle Hospice along with your donation.
The Foyle Hospice Annual Tree Lighting Ceremony will be held on Thursday, December 18 and is open to the public. If you wish to donate to the Lights of Love appeal, visit the Foyle Hospice website here.
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