‘It was considered a minor stroke but it had a major impact on our lives’

A woman from Co Down was having “a great year” in 2022 before she suffered a stroke

Nicola Shaw, now 47, from Ballygowan was leaving the gym after a spin class on December 16, 2022 when she noticed the right hand side of her body was floppy, her tongue felt swollen and her face was tingly — like pins and needles.

As the mother of two boys — she was 44 at the time — got into her car to head home, Nicola didn’t realise the seriousness of her situation, but she was having a stroke. A phone call in the car to a friend urged her to take action. Once Nicola got home, her mother watched the children while her husband Darren accompanied her to the Ulster hospital in Dundonald.

Nicola went to the hospital with a protein bar and a bottle of water, not realising that she would soon be spending five nights there. In the midst of the Covid 19 pandemic and with over a hundred people waiting in front of her — Darren was not allowed in by security.

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Nicola said she was amazed when she was admitted “within minutes” and inside an hour from the time she arrived at the A&E department, treatment was being administered for the stroke.

Nicola told Belfast Live: “It was considered a minor stroke but it had a major impact on our lives.

“2022 was a good year for me, I’d lost five and a half stone, I was feeling really great. In fact, the day the stroke happened, I had received a job offer, so life was good.

“I was walking out of my regular spin class when it happened. It was almost an out of body experience.”

The road to recovery has been a challenging one for Nicola with a lot of obstacles she has had to face including fatigue. Nicola previously ran two marathons and competed in white colour boxing before the stroke — going from an active lifestyle to one where she is regularly tired.

Since the stroke, she has had to slowly get back into the gym, in an effort to start again and build up her resilience. It has not been easy, and for a while, Nicola was hyper-vigilant as she tried to increase her strength while being constantly worried about whether she was pushing herself too hard. This weighed heavily on her, especially because she worried about having another stroke and her young family.

“One of my children said I am always tired now and that is not what you want to hear,” said Nicola whose two sons, Noah and Dylan were five and eight, respectively, at the time of the stroke.

“I wake up feeling tired and am really fatigued a lot, as a parent of two boys that is hard. I can’t do everything for them or with them,” she said.

“People don’t look at me and realise I have had a stroke but I know I am different. I know the way I process information is not the same as it was and the neuro fatigue is a significant thing for me.

“I found it hard to concentrate with my children in the car and that first Christmas after the stroke I was present but I wasn’t able to participate fully. I just didn’t have the energy after the initial present opening as that exhausted me, my mum and dad ended up taking over.

“In December 2024, I managed to host Christmas for the family. As much as it exhausted me, it did feel like a full circle moment.”

Almost a third of stroke survivors (30%) feel like they are a burden to their family and friends at Christmas time, according to new research released recently by the Stroke Association. This Christmas Day in the UK, another 240 people will wake up to the life-changing impact of a stroke. A stroke can leave survivors unable to move, see, speak, or even swallow, and can also lead to personality changes and depression.

The Stroke Association has released a short film, ‘Still Christmas’, featuring home videos and photos shared by stroke survivors and their families, taken at Christmas time after their stroke. The film depicts the reality of facing Christmas after the impact of a stroke and how different this time of year can be for survivors and their families. High profile supporters Brian Cox, Alison Steadman OBE, Amanda Abbington, Nish Kumar, Nadia Sawalha, Christopher Chung, Jo Brand and Kiell Smith-Bynoe provide the narration.

Nicola is now the head of HR for a tech company but having the stroke brought a lot of questions about her life to the forefront of her mind. She was constantly wondering what caused the stroke and wanted to find answers, not just for herself, but also for her family. She also questioned what she would do for work in the future and what impact the stroke would have on her career?

She said: “People come to you in my job asking for you to solve problems and to help them.

“I had to move outside of my job for a while I recovered and it was a bit of a who am I moment. I wasn’t sure what level of work I could go back into, I can’t stand for long periods of time, but ultimately I ended up going back into HR.

“Having a stroke could happen to anyone so I tried to look at it as an opportunity to take a pause and gave me a chance to look at my life to see what do I want to do moving forward and what am I capable of doing moving forward?”

“Going back to work helped me build my confidence, life is moving forward but it is different. I have to try to balance what I want to do with what I can do.

“When i got told I’d had a stroke, I crumbled. To me, it was a word like cancer which was very scary. I wasn’t even aware of other people my age that had a stroke, back then. I’m now aware of children who have had strokes and other people around my age as well, it isn’t just older people that get them. My parents never would have thought their healthy, young daughter could have a stroke.”

A period of adjustment has taken place during her journey with Nicola launching herself into a 100 mile challenge for the Stroke Association in March 2023 while she was still in the early stages of her recovery. And while she found the activity very challenging — with some days seeing her unable to participate due to fatigue — she managed to raise £3000.

Nicola had a stroke scare in June 2023 but medical professionals were content she hadn’t had the stroke. However, they kept her in for observation just to be on the safe side. It was a difficult time for Nicola who learned to live after surviving a stroke as questions still lingered on why it had occurred, and whether it would happen again?

Then, on her 20th wedding anniversary, 25th September 2023, doctors believed they found the answer to why the stroke had taken place. It was discovered that Nicola had a patent foramen ovale (PFO), more commonly known as a hole in the heart, and despite being unaware of its presence, it had been there since birth.

Nicola joked that while it wasn’t the romantic milestone her and Darren had hoped for on such a pivotal anniversary, it provided the answers they had desperately been seeking.

She said: “Psychologically, it was massive finding out why it occurred. I was asking myself why I had the stroke, I wanted to find out what happened, try to ensure it didn’t happen again and to make sure I was around for my family.

“There has to be a why for the reason behind having a stroke and I think that is where the fundraising and raising awareness to bring positivity. Hopefully someone who is at the start of their stroke journey can realise they aren’t alone and something good can come of the experience.”

Nicola had corrective heart surgery on Dec 21, 2023, and now feels as though a certain sense of normalcy has been restored. Nicola said Darren had been a rock during the ordeal as he stepped into her shoes seamlessly after his work helped him attain the flexibility needed at that time.

She added: “Darren was so shocked it happened but is so grateful I am still here. The biggest shock was when I felt I was a burden, when he heard me being negative, it shocked him because I am normally a positive person. He supported me as much as he could, I don’t think I would be where I am in terms of my recovery if it wasn’t for him.”

Nicola is now back in the gym training and since the PFO has been fixed, she feels she can do physical activity without the constant worry in the back of her mind. The Ballygowan woman praised the Stroke Association and said that the services they had provided had been invaluable.

“I have been advocating for psychological support for stroke survivors,” she said.

“The Stroke Association have a volunteer call service that rings every week. My world had shrunk to four walls of my home so to be able to have a conversation acted as a lifeline. And to have the volunteer talk to me about her journey and her being understanding of my fears, insecurities and vulnerabilities was a big help to me. It helped me hugely to have someone who could relate to me and it was transformative for my recovery.”

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