Aidan Mullan, a father-of-three, said the death of his wife Shauna left the family “devastated beyond words”
A Co Derry dad has spoken of the “crushing pain” of losing his wife to terminal cancer.
Aidan Mullan, a father-of-three from Craigbane, said the death of his wife Shauna at the Northwest Cancer Centre at Altnagelvin Hospital left the family “devastated beyond words”.
He described how a children’s support service, known as ‘Healing Hearts’ and run by the Derry-based end-of-life charity Foyle Hospice, had helped both his three children come to terms with the loss of their mum.
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The Mullan family brought in the new year together on January 1 last year, planning for a family break in London at Easter. But just ten weeks later, they were given the news that mum Shauna had terminal cancer.
“I remember going home in complete shock, trying to get my head around what I was going to say to our three children,” the grieving husband and dad said. “It was the scariest and most frightening conversation that I ever had with them.”
Shauna immediately began to plan how her children Donal, Aideen, and Cliodhna could be supported.
Aidan continued: “We were in the cancer unit for a week’s radiotherapy and Shauna spoke with Nicola, the Ward Sister about support for the children. Nicola explained about Healing Hearts based at the Foyle Hospice. Shauna made contact on the way home and spoke to Michelle Kosky and was given guidance on how to discuss her diagnosis with the children.
On 1st April 2024, Shauna sadly passed away peacefully at The Northwest Cancer Centre.
Aidan said: “This tragedy left our family and the wider family devastated beyond words. Nothing could have prepared us for the crushing pain and loss of such a quiet and kind person.
“Shauna was a youth worker with the Education Authority and her role was school-based talking to young people about the importance of mental health and well-being. Shauna talked a lot to our own children about the five steps to well-being and emotions, I didn’t realise how important or significant those talks would be.”
Following Shauna’s death, Michelle from Healing Hearts reached out to Aidan. He continued: “All I can say is that since I got involved in the parent support group, they have been nothing short of amazing. From the moment you meet the group, you feel as if you have known them for years. They are so kind and caring. The parents support one another outside the group and we meet up regularly for a cuppa. It is so comforting to be able to chat to other parents who understand how you feel and how difficult a journey we are all on.”
He continued: “The friendships and bonds both parents and children have created are so positive. Cliodhna had one-to-one bereavement support from Michelle in Primary School to help her understand her thoughts and feelings on grief. On family days out, the children participate in lots of fun activities, and it’s a great way to keep their minds occupied for a couple of hours. These special memories with other children who are all hurting can never be underestimated.”
Aidan went on to describe the benefits of the memory bears, which his three children were given to remember their beloved mum. He said: “They got teddy bears made from their mammy’s dresses. Each memory bear is individual and is so comforting for them, made from the dress their beloved mammy wore to their First Holy Communion and Confirmation.”
Following Shauna’s death, the family began fundraising in support of Healing Hearts, ranging from an Easter draw that took place in Cliodhna’s primary school to running 8 miles of the Belfast Marathon and an 80th birthday party for Shauna’s mother.
Aidan continued: “Shauna would be so proud of the children and all the money they have raised which is £10,370.36. This will be donated to Healing Hearts.
“The entire family is so thankful for the amazing generosity from the special communities in Craigbane, Ballinascreen and all our kind-hearted neighbouring communities as well as the businesses and supporters further away.”
Aidan concluded: “Of course, it is still so emotionally challenging and heart-breaking trying to put those building blocks in place. However, the Healing Hearts family is such a safe space for everyone as we try to come to terms with the bereavement. The group have been a real source of comfort. If you are a family in need of support after bereavement, whether its cancer related or something else, please reach out to Healing Hearts as it has changed my life.”
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